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A General Primer for Scene Etiquette

Photography At Fetish Events

December 23, 2011

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

I am a fetish photographer and want to attend your next event to capture real life moments. Are you one of these annoying promoters who don’t allow photography at your events? ~ [name omitted]

Dear “flash,”

I would like a Rolls Royce complete with chauffeur. It seems that neither of Us is going receive what We’d like today, though I assure you that I would be much more polite in My request than you have been with yours. Because you serve Me to answer your question for My purposes, I choose to respond to you:

The problems with photography at Fetish events in real-life are:

people are concerned with their privacy;
most photographers always think they are far more talented than they actually are;
most photographers think they OWN not only the photographs but all rights to the people in them; and
the lack of integrity and social skills of the vast majority of the population.

I do not permit any types of photography, etc. at My events EXCEPT for those provided by MY photographer. It took a long time for Me to carefully develop a fantastic relationship of TRUST with My photographers and event guests. I cherish these relationships and will do everything in My power to honor them.

NO photos are taken of anyone without their permission.
I maintain ALL copies of photos taken at each of My events and ONLY post photos to a private album which is available ONLY to guests of that event who (1) are in the photos and (2) who have given WRITTEN permission for the photos to be posted in the album. In other words, NO photos are taken or posted in the private album without written consent. Period.

The reason I maintain ALL photos is to ensure privacy control. (On numerous occasions, I have had to fight the illegal use of My photos. If any photos taken at any of My events are misused, I will be able to and most definitely will provide concrete evidence and support for legal action against the offender.)

This practice takes quite a bit of My time, as I make sure to handle all photos personally, and I gladly give this consideration to My guests. I am unique in this practice and in My generosity. Perhaps, this is because I’m an Event Designer and not just a promoter.

My suggestion to you is to develop a relationship with some other "fetish" event promoters and politely express your desire to capture photos of real-life moments. Choose the promoter(s) carefully because if the promoter is a sleazebag, your reputation will be tainted for a LONG time WHEN he does something heinous – which is inevitable.

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Being a Lifestyle Dominant for Her entire life, The Mistress Didi* has explored various aspects of the BDSM and D/s Scenes including 24/7 relationships, slave ownership, Professional Domination (before it became synonymous with "hoochies with whips") and Fetish Event Planning. The Mistress Didi* has benefited from an extensive education in the functions of the human body and psyche, holds a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Therapy and is currently working on Her PhD. As well as being the Founder of The Fetish League™, The Mistress Didi* is a Model, Speaker, Author, Fetish Facilitator, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Certified Nutritionist, Certified Aromatherapist, and a graduate of The Institute of Culinary Arts with a specialty in vegetarian cooking. In Her quest to change the public’s negative view of Fetish to a positive understanding of Fetish as Therapeutic Art, The Mistress Didi* promotes Fetish Appreciation through Her workshops, performances, and Classic Fetish™ Events. She* believes that the goal of the Dominant-submissive relationship is self-evolution for both to grow towards becoming the best that W/we can be as individuals, to each other, and to The Whole.

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