Dear
Miss Private,
It is
difficult to
take the high road with low-lives.
However, that is My advice. The most important thing you
have is your reputation. You and your ex know the truth, so
no matter what anyone else chooses to think or say, your
best defense is a strong offense.
Defuse
the situation as soon as it presents itself. The moment
someone begins prying into your personal business, and
especially if they try to get you to speak ill of your ex:
1)
Put
your hand up with a gentle “stop” motion.
This speaks to the unconscious mind and helps to reinforce
what you say to them on a conscious level. Keep your hand
near your own body – do not extend it into or near their
space because this action will be perceived as invasive
(even thought they are invading your space).
Then withdraw your hand into your own body and bring it to
rest, which reinforces that you are taking responsibility
both to your own and to observers’ subconscious minds;
2)
Be
very kind, gentle, and direct as you take personal
responsibility by saying
something like, “It would not be polite or fair to [your ex]
or to me to break the trust of our privacy.”
a)
Taking personal responsibility does not overtly make the
nosy people wrong and prevents egotistical defenses
(unless you are dealing with a complete moron);
b)
Maintaining a non-confrontational attitude alleviates
you from being perceived as defensive; and
c)
If they push the issue further, they will expose
themselves to be nosy gossips, which they most likely do
not want to do.
3)
Immediately
turn the topic of conversation on to the questioner –
complimenting them in some way works best. People like
nothing better than to talk about themselves. Complimenting
attire or asking about something you know they are proud of
or feel good about quickly takes the attention off of you
and your business.
There
will always be circumstances where you may have to do more
work to get rid of a space invader. Some other tips I
recommend are:
-
“Excuse
me, costume malfunction!” and walk away.
-
Asking
them why they want to know and then stating that you
wouldn’t want them to be accused of gossiping so you
will take responsibility to change the subject.
-
If you’re
anything like Me, just say, “It’s none of your
business.” I usually do it ever so sweetly, with a
lovely smile on My face, and jokingly as if their
intention was to be humorous instead of nosy.
The goal
is to maintain your dignity while refusing to divulge your
personal and private information.
Should
you encounter a situation where an offender will actually
claim that your ex is saying crappy things about you, take
the high road again with compassion.
“I am sorry
to hear that he is so devastated that he has to tell such
stories! How pitiful.”
And walk away. Walk away from that kind of offender because
they are intent on disrupting your peace and looking for
some kind of confrontation. I have actually had a situation
where such an offender decided to follow Me around to badger
information from Me, so I chose a very, highly-visible area
where people observed Me say, “Now I know why people say
you’re a nosy gossip.” And I walked away again. It was
unfortunate, but necessary, that I had to embarrass this
dreadful creature.
You
cannot stop your ex or other people from saying things. The
best approach is to make it a point to
be observed
being amused by the situation with a no-care attitude.
And don’t be a drama-queen when you do it. Gossips and
low-lives can only thrive if they disrupt your peace. If
you present yourself as if you don’t care, you disrupt their
feeding frenzy and they will soon latch onto someone else.
If you really let go and don’t care about negative behavior,
you free yourself to receive better things.
You may also want to read
My blog post on what I call "gruesomes" as you
seem to be surrounded by them and they're everywhere...
↓
