I would love to attribute this to its author, so if anyone knows who wrote it, PLEASE let Me know!
Aries
Dominant: The Dominant Aries lies a lot. They claim to have sex more often than they really do. They also claim to have numerous submissives who adore them, and that may be true, but they’ve never actually met any of them.
submissive: submissive Aries rarely have real life relationships because that would require follow-through and they just don’t have it in them.
Taurus
Dominant: Bulls are self-reliant and hard working, so they make excellent Doms. Other Doms hate them. Taurus can also be hardheaded, unreasonable and drunk.
submissive: The submissive Taurus is almost always a SAM (Smart Ass Masochist). They are always too stubborn to use safe words. Dominant Scorpios see Taurus subs as the ultimate play partner.
Gemini
Dominant: The Peter Pan of the zodiac will never grow up. This is good for plastic surgeons because a Gemini never wants to grow old either. They are generally fun people but they’re always late for play dates.
submissive: Gemini likes to talk. In fact, they never shut up. The ball gag was invented especially for the Gemini submissive.
Cancer
Dominant: Cancer is very materialistic and likes to acquire floggers, whips and a large variety of expensive and kinky sex toys. They lie a lot and claim to have sex more often than they really do.
submissive: submissive Moon children are also avid collectors, mostly they collect “cyber Doms” and parking tickets.
Leo
Dominant: Leo Doms have a deep love and great measure of admiration for … themselves. They are attractive, and they are generous hosts who throw great parties. Leo is often preoccupied during scenes and/or sex because they are always trying to see how they look in the mirror.
submissive: See above. Other than their role, there is no difference between a Dominant and submissive Leo.
Virgo
Dominant: Virgins are obsessive-compulsive control freaks who are more interested in keeping their toys clean than actually playing with them. They can be very passionate during sex, provided their partner has been thoroughly disinfected.
submissive: Virgos aren’t good submissives, but they are excellent slaves because they are always vacuuming the floor and washing the dishes and making sure everything is neat and clean. They’re not terribly submissive when they’re telling you to wipe your feet before stepping on the clean floor, however.
Libra
Dominant: Libra loves things of beauty, so they are often found gazing at and adoring Leo submissives. Balance and harmony are their keywords, but this is not the case where their checkbook is concerned.
submissive: Libra submissives can usually be rather dull except during impassioned shopping trips for the latest and greatest in fetish wear.
Scorpio
Dominant: Scorpions are dangerous. If you should meet a sadistic Scorpion your only chance of survival is to run like hell. Run fast, run far and don’t look back. If you have been involved in a relationship with a Scorpio in the past, and lived to tell about it, there is help. Join a support group today.
submissive: There are no submissive Scorpios — Submissive Scorpions are just lazy. If you are involved with a Scorpio who claims to be submissive, THEY ARE LYING TO YOU!
Sagittarius
Dominant: There’s no such thing as a Long Term Relationship with a Dominant Sagittarius. They are flirtatious and indiscreet. The party animals of the zodiac always stumbles in late and they have probably been drinking.
submissive: Not unlike their Dominant counterpart, the Sagittarius submissive is a shameless flirt who can make even the most secure Dominant feel insecure about their relationship.
Capricorn
Dominant: Capricorns are consummate sex and power addicts. Their urges are often uncontrollable and they are always soiling dresses and leaving DNA all over the place. Capricorns never lie about anything except sex. Usually they deny they have it. Capricorn Dominants aspire to high elected office. One rather famous Capricorn was known for using strange objects, such as cigars, as sex toys.
submissive: Even submissive Capricorns are terribly charismatic. One very famous Capricorn submissive was known to take 39 lashes with a single tail before being hung on a cross.
Aquarius
Dominant: Here is where you will find the eccentric, exotic and unusual Dominant. They love phone sex and love to invent strange sex toys that nobody else would ever think of.
submissive: submissive Aquarians love to discuss his/her sex life with his/her children’s teachers and in other inappropriate situations.
Pisces
Dominant: Spiritual, cranky and mostly paranoid, those born under the sign of the fish often think they are being followed by the CIA or FBI. They probably are. If not, they should be. They are often conservative Republicans too. As Dominants, they thrive on controlling the submissive’s mind.
submissive: A submissive Pisces? Forget it. They think they can read your mind, so don’t even talk to them.
