May 23rd, 2012!

The Mistress Didi* Commands

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The recent news of health hazards and criminal, non-consensual offenses at "fetish" events should be a wake-up scream for the Community.  Why is the state of The Scene today deplorable?  Because:

• people choose to remain silent and permit offenders to continue with increasingly, worsening actions instead of calling them on bad behaviors; 

• people "don't want to get involved" but ARE involved by NOT taking action; and

• people are quick to attack anyone who DOES speak up and alert the Community for the safety of others.  Instead, people choose to make the "whistle blower" wrong by saying s/he should not "air dirty laundry."  This is the same type of offense as telling a rape victim that s/he should not have been walking down that street (or attended that party) and who cry the loudest at the funerals of victims who have been killed by the same stalkers the victims complained to them about.  

How is this safe?  How is this sane?  I do NOT consent to being put at risk because people do not want to be responsible to and for The Scene they want to indulge in.

I realize that I have been so very fortunate ~ and worthy ~ to have spent the VAST majority of My Life in the company of REAL Fetishists with true talent, respect, integrity, and who offered value to The Scene.  They understood that We are the creators and progenitors of what makes Fetish an Art versus an outlet for sleaze.  It has only been within the last decade that I have grown increasingly disgusted with the lack of all of the above AND basic, home training by creatures that abominate a part of My Life that I cherish.

Therefore, I invite you to bring the ADULT back to adult entertainment.  If YOU do not stay silent in the shadows, YOU may be the reason that the next newbie who attends an event is NOT raped.  YOU may be the reason that someone's family is NOT endangered by an idiotic, egomaniac's need for attention.  YOU may be the reason that We can effectively bring responsibility, respect, and integrity back to The Scene so that it can once again be as fulfilling as YOU want it to be for yourself and others.  Demand better and contribute to BetterFetish™.

If you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem.

I AM A PART OF THE SOLUTION.
Join Me.

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DEFINITELY READ: You Won't Like My Events If...

Because I am actually LIVING a True Fetish Lifestyle, I am not confused to equate ugly behavior with Dominance and the concept of Fetish.

Money is not My god; I create events to invite people to experience BetterFetish™ by creating a SAFE & SANE space to BE their bests with others who do the same.  This is why there is NEVER a safety issue at any of My events and there never will be.  Cleanliness is also paramount. 

It is My habit to provide a fantastic opportunity for a few cool Fetishists (with good manners and presentation) to assist at My events.  I have met some of the most wonderful people who have become part of the SWIRL Family and who are now part of My Private Soiree Circle, too!

So, again I offer the opportunity to assist Me at My SWIRL ClassicFetish™ After-Work Play Party & Annual NYC Fetish Charity Fundraiser on Thursday, May 31st from 6pm to Midnight!

What makes service to Me at My Events so fabulous? 1 hour on duty, 1 hour off duty so you have time to commune and Play!

Duties will include clean-up, bartending, setup and break down, so your commitment will be for the ENTIRE evening. I promise to have you on your way home (if that's where you choose to go) by 12:30AM. (Arrangements may be made if you really can't stay til Midnight.)

**PAY ATTENTION:**

BE WARNED:

Do NOT take My generosity lightly and mistake My kindness for weakness.  Do not commit and then fail to show up - you will NOT enjoy the punishment you cause to yourself and I WILL not keep your bad behavior silently in the shadows.  The problem with so much of the negativity and dangers in The Scene today are because people are permitted their atrocious behaviors because no one makes offenders accountable nor warns the rest of Us about them.  I AM NOT THAT PERSON. 

IF YOU ARE NOT A PART OF THE SOLUTION, YOU ARE A PART OF THE PROBLEM.  So, don't start none, won't be none.

**PAY ATTENTION:**

If interested, contact Me DIRECTLY at with 5/31 PARTY ASSISTANT in the Subject Line of your email and send no later than 5/28.

If We are mutually pleased, you may be able to attend My future events and/or private soirees as My Special Guest with a friend - just like the past assistants who responded to My previous opportunities ARE doing!

Meet The

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	Now that I am comfy and cozy, I am beginning a new Domina101™ Webcam Workshop Series!  Because I am a Giving Goddess, I am GIVING THE 1ST SESSION GOODIES TO YOU FOR FREE!   Click the link above to make sure that you don't miss out and to be alerted of the next Superior submissive Workshop!
	I MISS what was once the New York City Fetish Marathon.  My habit during this season is to provide a charity fundraiser event for REAL Fetishists to have the opportunity to meet each other in a civilized, elegant, and comfortable environment where you can actually hear each other in conversation.  Each year for this event, I offer a great service to The Community and permit Us to be of service to a worthy organization.  See below for the GREAT NEWS from My last charity fundraiser! SWIRL is on THURSDAY, MAY 31st!  Click HERE to meet the  SWIRL Divas who will be in attendance!  I will announce any further plans as soon as I've made them!  Be first to be alerted. Seriously:  SWIRL and My other events ARE all-inclusive; housed in beautiful, clean, PRIVATE, conveniently located venues (that everyone wants to use after I do); and I always make sure you meet people to have fun with.  I really do provide the BEST deals in town!
	GREAT NEWS from My Birthday 2011 Charity Fundraiser!  The rig We funded drilled its first well!  SEE VIDEO.  Some of Us wonderful people fundraised, donated, and attended My Birthday Party -- all to help CharityWater.org raise money for two new drilling rigs in Tigray, Ethiopia.  The first of the two rigs broke ground drilling its first well in Merara Village on February 28, 2012.  Hours into the drill, it hit a massive aquifer of pure ground water.  And that's just the beginning!  Each rig will go on to drill 80 new wells, and together they'll change 80,000 lives -- every single year for the next 15 years.  Although We've helped 1,600 communities and more than 600,000 people here already, two million people in this region are still waiting for clean water. We need to go faster.  See what you can do to help.

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Confusing Dominance for bullying
© March 2011

Recently, I had yet another typically boring incident of someone mistaking My actions to be in line with the nefarious intentions they have in their own actions.  If I make a mistake, I WILL apologize.  Just tell Me - don't address Me the way one should address their insidiously-ill-mannered-spawn.  Though the person’s manner should have been more polite, I quickly apologized and the cow replied back to Me as if she were speaking to a humiliation-sub.  Nothing she has serves Me in any way; I was being gracious by contributing to her little, online forum in the first place.

Then, one of My Domina101™ Attendees contacted Me with a similar problem.  So, I’m having a glorious day and I’ve decided to share the Domina101™ Tip that I gave to Her:

You have to remember to focus first on Who You Are.  These silly creatures out here are so confused by what it means to be Dominant/submissive that they just exhibit bad behavior which reflects their lack of self-love – and they are too ignorant to know it.

Being a Dominant first and foremost requires self-control and personal responsibility.  Too many “wanna-doms” think that to treat people with humiliation at any and every opportunity means being “in control.”  This is always a set up for what one wishes one coulda-woulda-shoulda done when they come across a True Dominant who actually has a Domain and not just a delusion – like moderating an online group as the extent of one’s experience.  For too many cybercreeps, the online “community” is all they have to pretend that they are what they present themselves to be.  This is not only pathetic and sad, but a testament to how little they actually think of themselves to be too afraid to venture out into the Real World with those of Us who ARE walking Our talk.

Bullies are cowards which are, in My opinion, down there with the lowest of life forms.  A coward always makes everything and everyone a reason for why they are failures.  They are first to criticize what you have created while having created nothing of their own.  They are first to berate you for making a mistake as if they have never, ever made even one.  They do not know how to give compliments because they recognize and despise their lack of self –value.  They do not know how to accept apologies because they cannot accept their own fallibility.  Somehow, they believe they are perfect and that the world offends them by not showing up according to their limited ability, from even more limited experience, to think that it should be.  These are the same people who want to dictate exactly how You should be Dominant in Your Domain while knowing absolutely nothing about You, Your life, Your Reality, etc.  It is this type of "little world of domination" mentality that annoys those of Us who are living in the Real World of Owning One's Domain.

I have recently had to post You Won't Like My Events If... as a cordial warning to "space invaders" with this same bullying-distortion of what Dominance is.  If one has to bully, one is a coward, not a Domme.  A True Dominant knows that She does not lose anything by showing respect, gratitude, and graciousness without waiting for an invitation to do so.  She can do this because She loves Herself, is responsible for Her actions, maintains Her Domain, and is not threatened by how other people do things in theirs.  Most importantly, A True Dominant has no need to even attempt to enter someone else’s Realm and impose anything on it.

The beauty, as William Shakespeare said, is that “Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.”  Julius Ceasar, Act 2, Scene II.  Sadist that I am, I take much pleasure in knowing that they repeatedly cause their own suffering by avoiding personal responsibility!  And then, I wish them well as long as they are far away from Me and Mine.

More Domina101™ Tips

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It's astonishing how many emails I receive thanking Me for warning about offenders to Our Scene.  While I appreciate people offering their acclamations for Me, I would much prefer that they express such gratitude as quickly and easily as they jump to criticize Me on the revolting "fetish community" website(s).  It's disgusting how easily people will rush to choose to present themselves in the lowest forms rather than publicly express themselves on higher levels.

Keeping with this Newsletter's theme of personal responsibility, below are 2 excerpts from recent additions to My Ask Mistress Didi* archives:

Consider The Source

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

You witnessed an incident that should not have happened.  [name omitted] offended me and I didn't do anything to cause him to be so rude.  I still think I did the right thing to roll my eyes and walk away, but the whole thing bothers me.  What is the best way for me to handle this?  Thanks, G 

*****************

Outing or Protecting?

Q: Dear Mistress Didi,

Why is some guy on [social site] contacting me by direct message, claiming that You threw him out of Your party, and to stay away from Your events and You?  - perturbed

*****************

If you have a question that has NOT already been addressed, you may Ask Mistress Didi*.  Remember your manners...  I'm a Domme, not your mom. 

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Classic Fetish™ Resources

As a person whose one-of-many Fetishes is Gift Giving, I offer you the advantage of My Generous Givings.  Do indulge and share:

My Articles

My Downloads

My Videos

My Blogs

My Advice Column

~  I have compiled My Newsletter Archives where you can find wonderful info, fun-fetish tidbits, and a variety of tips from Me.  Check it out!

~  Kindly refer people to The Mistress Didi*s Articles which include The Importance of Rituals & Protocols,  Domme vs. dumme,  and submissive vs. substandard, Easy Wig Care Tips & more!

~  My Free eBook:  How To Properly Present yourself To A Mistress is an effort to improve opportunities for submissives to meet Dominants and make a good impression.  It is also an excellent resource for Dominants to assist prospective submissives and those We meet on the roads in Our Fetish Journeys.  Download your "FreeView" and by all means, SHARE!!!  Pass it around!  Contact Me if you would like to obtain the Full Version.

I encourage more REAL Dominants to offer training to those who present substandard behaviors to improve the state of The Scene and restore its tenets of respect and beauty.

~  PLEASE refer folks to My GoddessGlide™ ~ How To Walk In High Heels video so that We can appreciate the shoes without gasping at Frankensteinish-clunking by the people wearing them!

~  My Webcam Workshops: In preparation for private, semi-private, and group ClassicFetish™ Workshops via webcam,  am in the process of testing various web conferencing programs.  While I am doing this, I will conduct a few Workshops for a small, $10 donation to one of My Charities!  This is your opportunity to be charitable while gaining valuable knowledge!  Space will be extremely limited, so if you would like to take part during My test drives, click here and follow instructions.  Participation will be on a first-come, first-served basis. More Info...

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I REALLY dislike SPAM, but worse, I dislike when My emails go into Y/your spam folder because people did not follow the easy instructions to make sure that Y/you receive My Emails.

Here's a tip for easy viewing of Y/your spam folder: alphabetize the FROM column.  Y/you should be able to click on the small toolbar above your emails that lists who the emails are from, the subject, etc.  If Y/you click on the FROM tab, your emails should sort alphabetically.  The same goes for navigating your emails by clicking on the Date, Subject, and other tabs to sort them for easy reading.  This little tip will save Y/you a lot of time and aggravation.

And be certain to CHECK YOUR SPAM FOLDER every day!

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In case you're new here or haven't figured it out, the quotes that I choose
always represent the theme of the current issue.
This Issue's Theme is about owning and maintaining unwavering integrity.

"I do get called a bitch quite often. What I do NOT get called is pushover, stupid, sweetheart, dear, or doormat. Works for me."

~ Rebecca M.

"Don’t f--k with my reality. I’d rather know an ugly truth than be mislead by a pretty lie. Just lay it on out there, say what you mean
and don’t paint the turds."

~ HBI Member MisTre

"Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have the obligation to be one. You cannot make any useful contributions in life unless you do that."

~ Eleanore Roosevelt

"If you think you are too small to have an impact,
try going to bed with a mosquito."

~ Anita Roddick

"I'd rather be despised for my character than liked for my lack of it."

~ Rebecca J.

"When kicking the unworthy to the curb, kick correctly lest they bounce back to you."

~ HBI Member Karen H.

"BI.T.C.H. = Being In Total Control of HerSelf."

~ One of Mistress Didi*s Mottos

"Jealousy is not only a waste of time, but a waste of time to love yourself."

~ Mistress Didi*

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